random thoughts...

dang it. i am learning everyday. i don't think i'll ever really get this whole life thing or how to do it right. but, recently God's GRACE blows me away because i realize that as much as i try, i cannot do this on my own. i try to grasp for control, and realize that i can't. random thoughts...

i really need to go to the dominican republic. sometimes i think its a form of escapism from normal life, but at the same time, i don't think that's necessarily a bad thing. people handle life/frustrations/deep thinking/ in different ways. for me, i need to experience a new culture. it has been so therapeutic in the past. taking a break from life, stepping out of the current situation and re-evaluating life from a distance. there is something glorious about that. God has used the time in England, Romania, Mexico, Israel, etc. to do this very thing and reveal new things to me. i can't wait.



i have no idea what God is doing with me. i am realizing he has given me passions for various things...spanish, kids, traveling, love, adoption, the outdoors, teaching, and people. but, God, now what?

i love my job.

i am more blessed than i ever realize. i am always so busy thinking of things to be discontent about. Jesus, overwhelm me with contentment because you are so good. and you give good gifts.



i really want to just enjoy life, celebrate every moment, and embrace joy, but i think too much! God, you are in control of my mind. help me LIVE FULLY!



i miss my sister. terribly. and my closest friends. i wish i was at camp with them.

i went a really beautiful, laid-back wedding on the beach yesterday.



captivating by stasi eldredge is a powerful book. it has helped me work through various thoughts and questions..."we can't put words to it, but down deep we fear there is something terribly wrong with us. if we were the princess, then our prince would have come. if we were the daughter of the king, he would have fought for us."

surrender is daily. one day i feel like i'm kinda getting the idea, and the next day, i am discouraged and feel like i am starting all over again. why is life like this?

why exactly does God give us desires when they will not be fulfilled yet?

and this is what i long my life to be like: "God wants us to bring to bear the weight of our lives and all that he has given to us, worked into us, and offer it to our world. to entice, allure, and invite others to Jesus by reflecting his glory in our lives."

i want to live the best i can, love people as much as i can, and be like Jesus. but, i fall short. and sometimes i don't exactly know what that would look like in my everyday life.

i am a sinful person, but i am LOVED by an incredibly gracious and loving and personal and intimate God. i want that to blow me away every day.

cold tangerines.

about a year ago, i ventured to barnes and noble for one of those "i need some relaxation and inspiration" days. i grabbed some books off the shelves and made my way to a comfortable, over-stuffed chair near the cafe. i started reading shauna niequist's cold tangerines and by the third page, i had tears welling up in my eyes. shauna seemed to be verbalizing my thoughts into words on the page in front of me!

"i have always, essentially, been waiting. waiting to become something else, waiting to be that person i always thought i was on the verge of becoming, waiting for that life i thought i would have. in my head, i was always one step away...i don't want to wait anymore. i choose to believe that there is nothing more sacred or profound than this day. i choose to believe that there may be a thousand big moments embedded in this day, waiting to be discovered like tiny shards of gold."

throughout the past year, this book has encouraged me as i embarked on various adventures and experienced new events. after my time in mexico, my heart was churning inside me, struggling as i arrived back in the united states, yet wishing i was still in a small mayan hut in the yucatan. i could not find a way to express all my thoughts and instead, i was left feeling overwhelmed and alone. as i flew from mexico to detroit, i came across these words after shauna's time in africa...

i had to clear away space in my mind and my heart, spaces previously occupied by easy things -- groceries to buy, albums to download, people to call -- and replace them with the weight of africa [mexico], a heavy, dark thing to carry with me, something under which to labor, something under which to tremble."

so, if you happen to be reading this blog, this is my recommendation to you. pick up this book and start reading. i'm guessing you will be encouraged, challenged, inspired, and relaxed.

enjoy.

God loves the orphans...

my family is in the process of adopting two precious kids from ethiopia, five-year-old trey and two-year-old tessa. please pray for us!

pray...
1. that God would provide the required $30,000!
2. that trey and tessa would be safe and healthy
3. that God would send special people to take care of trey and tessa right now
4. that my parents would have the patience to fill out all the paperwork

God's heart is with the orphans and as his people, we want to show His love to those around us. its pretty insane, but God doesn't really do normal things...

i needed this today...

"I look out the window
The birds are composing
Not a note is out of tune
Or out of place

I look at the meadow
And stare at the flowers
Better dressed than any girl
On her wedding day

So why do I worry?
Why do I freak out?
God knows what I need
You know what I need

Your love is strong."

-Jon Foreman

“God’s call for your life is where the world’s deep hunger and your deep gladness meet.” – Frederick Buechner

missional living.

tonight i am talking at higher ground (our youth group at sunshine) about MISSIONAL LIVING. how do we represent Christ whether we are living in the Guatemalan jungle or in west Michigan?
here's the handout. let's make a difference in the world. let's represent Jesus in everyday life.

missional living = living simply and giving extravagantly

1. pray and fast for the 2 billion people who live on less than a dollar a day
2. as a small group, sponsor a child through Compassion International for $32/month – if there are eight people in your small group, it would cost each person $4 a month…almost the same price as one coffee from Starbucks (www.compassion.com)
3. encourage your family to adopt a kid :) (www.bethany.org) – or you can donate to the Warners’ adoption fund to bring Trey and Tessa home! (http://godlovesethiopia.blogspot.com)
4. give a random compliment to a stranger. it is the best way to start a conversation.
5. rather than buy a birthday present at the mall, buy something from the Bright Hope International online store which pays fair price for goods to artisans in other countries (www.brighthope.org)
6. start a garden (tomatoes, green beans, etc.) and give the food away
7. pray at the abortion clinic
8. at Christmas time, make and send an “Operation Christmas Child” shoebox to needy children (http://www.samaritanspurse.org/index.php/occ/) or send a care package to missionaries or other people to encourage them
9. as a small group, look in the church bulletin for addresses of sick or shut-in people and send them a card or bring them a meal.
10. read Red Letters by Tom Davis –a book about the HIV/AIDS crisis in Africa and about how to make a difference in your everyday life
11. walk around downtown and pay for the meters that are expired. leave a little note as you go.
12. bake cookies for someone simply to encourage.
13. leave an extra big tip and a personal note for your server at a restaurant.
14. save your spare change in a container to give away. consider putting aside a certain percentage of whatever your income is.
15. as a small group, watch the video Invisible Children to learn about what is currently happening with child soldiers in Uganda or look up their website to learn more (www.invisiblechildren.com)
16. pray in the shower, on your drive to school, etc. because “its about an imperfect, finite creature crying out for the aid of an infinite, powerful God who wants to restore this world.”
17. write a letter to a leader of a Christian organization simply to encourage him or her. (you can look up organizations like Pregnancy Resource Center, LIFE International, Bright Hope International, International Teams, Operation Mobilization, Youth With a Mission, Children’s HopeChest, etc.)
18. go to a local thrift store and drop $1 bills in random pockets of clothing being sold.
19. as a small group, have a prayer walk around your school or grand rapids.
20. go to a nursing home. visit the people, tell stories, read the Bible together, or play board games.
21. head down to Mel Trotter Ministries or DeGagé, helping in any way that they need (www.meltrotter.org and www.degageministries.org/)
22. buy only used clothing for a certain amount of time (a month? a year?)
23. buy a t-shirt that gives some of the proceeds to help people around the world with clean drinking water, mosquito nets, etc. (http://weareoverlooked.com)
24. become a pen-pal with someone in prison or in a different country or with a soldier (www.adoptaplatoon.org)
25. start a miniature food pantry in your house (every time you or your family members or small group members go to the store, but one extra canned good). after collecting a significant amount of cans, bring them to the church food pantry, a needy family, or a local organization.
26. donate your gently used shoes to people who may not have any or raise money to help this effort (www.soles4souls.org)
27. check out this cool idea called LifeStraw that brings clean drinking water to developing nations (http://www.vestergaard-frandsen.com/lifestraw.htm)
28. with a friend or by yourself, offer to babysit for free for a family going through a difficult time or for a single mother.
29. become aware and learn more by looking up some of these websites…
Bright Hope International: www.brighthope.org
Compassion International: www.compassion.com
World Vision: www.worldvision.org
International Aid: www.internationalaid.org
Childrens’ Hope Chest: www.hopechest.org
Healing Waters International: www.healingwatersintl.org
International Justice Mission: www.ijm.org
ONE: www.one.org
The Micah Challenge: www.themicahchallenge.org
30. go on a missions trip
Operation Mobilization: http://www.om.org/short-term-opportunities/
Adventures in Missions: www.adventures.org
International Teams: http://www.iteams.org/go/
Youth with a Mission: www.ywam.org

"Speak up for the people who have no voice,

for the rights of all the down-and-outers.

Speak out for justice!

Stand up for the poor and destitute!"
Proverbs 31:8-9 (from the Message)

What I'm interested in seeing you do is:

sharing your food with the hungry,

inviting the homeless poor into your homes,

putting clothes on the shivering ill-clad,

being available to your own families.Do this and the lights will turn on,

and your lives will turn around at once.Your righteousness will pave your way.

The God of glory will secure your passage.Then when you pray, God will answer.

You'll call out for help and I'll say, 'Here I am.'
Isaiah 58:7-9 (from the Message)

i left my heart in san francisco...

just look at these faces...

i've been home from mexico for over three weeks. but i can't ever be the same.

i am 'gloriously ruined.'

a brooke fraser song sticks in my head...

now that i have seen, i am responsible

faith without deeds is dead.

now that i have held you in my own arms,

i cannot let go till you are...

i will tell the world

i will tell them where i've been

i will keep my word

i will tell them...

God is the God of the world!