AMERICA::AFRICA

A warning: This is my attempt to transform the massive pile of inner thoughts and enormous dreams into a semi-organized blog post. Not an easy thing to do.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JZMVOsl38d4

When I first heard the song "Tanzania" by Alli Rogers about three years ago, I got tears in my eyes. Little did I know that it was going to tell a part of my life story. The song tells the story of two parallel lives...one woman in America and one woman in Africa. You should listen to this song.

RIGHT NOW, as I sit on my bed in an air-conditioned house, typing out a blog post and thinking about what time to set my alarm for the morning and about whether I will make coffee at home or stop by Starbucks in the morning, another woman sits on a bench in a cramped, one-room dirt hut in Ethiopia, thinking about how she can conserve her injera bread to make it through the week and hoping that she has one more day of victory over HIV so that she can have the strength to walk several miles to the market to sell coffee beans.

So, here's the dream that has been brewing in me...

When we adopted Tem and Tessa, we received a video of their mother, Ayehu (pronounced AH-yoo) sitting in her hut, telling the cameraman about her life, how she roasts coffee beans and braids baskets to sell at the market, about her failing health, of when she gave birth to Tessa by herself in her hut, of times when she cried because the kids in the village made fun of Tem, and about her deep, passionate love for her children which caused her to relinquish them for adoption (She said, "I would rather suffer alone than have my children suffer with me.")

As I watched the video, my heart broke and tears streamed from my eyes. And, I knew I had to do something. A few years before, I woke up with a phrase from God branded into my mind: "Let my people know that I love them." I couldn't get this phrase out of my head when I thought of Ayehu.

I kept thinking about how significant and beautifully difficult it would be to visit Ayehu, to tell her that she is loved and look for ways to support and encourage her. I want to not only love her children, but to love her as well. My life is intertwined with the life of an Ethiopian woman who is only a few years older than me but lives a life drastically different than mine. But, the thought of meeting her seemed IMPOSSIBLE.

So, in an attempt to rule out this big dream and move onto others, I emailed a social worker from our adoption organization. I expected something like this, "Kate, that's a nice idea, but it is so impractical and won't work. Thanks. Bye." And instead, I received an email the next day that said something like this: "Kate, yes, this is certainly a possibility. I can work with our team of social workers in the U.S. and in Ethiopia as soon as you are ready to move ahead with this. Personally, I think it is a great idea and think that you should pursue it!"

WHAT?!

So, I am all of a sudden thinking of another trip to Ethiopia, back to the land of delicious food, even better coffee, hospitable people, loud roosters in the early morning hours, crazy traffic, and the Amharic language.
I am all of a sudden trying to imagine what it would be like to meet the mother of my siblings. What will I be thinking? What will she be thinking? How will she react? Am I going to bawl my eyes out? Will it be as great as I think its going to be? What will this lead to?

The idea seems outrageous. But, God is bigger than my biggest dreams. I have been thinking lately about how THANKFUL I am that God is a God of ADVENTURE. He could have made us mindless followers who live lives of routine and duty and obligation. But instead, he creates within us desires and passions and dreams that are just waiting to be dug out of our hearts and fulfilled by him. And, he grabs us by the hand and says, "Come with me, love! I want to bring you with me on this adventure..."

"You are young enough to believe

that anything is possible,

and you are old enough to

make that belief a reality."

-Shauna Niequist

Several things have been thrown into the mix of this adventure, reminding me of important truths and encouraging this outrageous dream...

Abby and I challenged each other to memorize Isaiah 58. As soon as you're done reading this, go ahead and read this chapter. Memorizing is a lot easier said than done. But, there is something so rich about letting it soak down to my core, knowing that it will resurface often when I least expect it. Isaiah 58 is hard for me to hear. It calls us to a standard so beyond "normal American Christian" living...

"Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:
to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke,
to set the oppressed free and break every yoke?
Is it not to share your food with the hungry
and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter -

when you see the naked to clothe him...

And if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry
and satisfy the needs of the oppressed,
then your light will rise in the darkness..."

Recently, I have also been intrigued with a Caedmon's Call album entitled "Share the Well"...the band took several trips to India, Brazil and Ecuador and then mixed international sounds with incredibly insightful lyrics. One of their songs, "All I Need", seems to tell the story of Ayehu...

"...years it doesn't rain
we just stay hungry for a while...
who else knew my name
before the day that I was born?
Jesus is all I need. Jesus is all I need.
This world calls me poor,
I bore my babies on this floor
He always provides
sure as the sun will rise.
Jesus is all I need..."

So, I have no idea what I'm doing.
I am a humble college student in West Michigan.
Overwhelmed by school bills.
About to start one of the busiest semesters of my life.
Thinking about traveling to Ethiopia to meet a woman who is part of my family.
Running after Jesus but stumbling and falling on my face along the way.
But, completely captured by the passionate and radiant love of my faithful and true One.

And, I still have no idea what I'm doing...

320 e. fulton

"HOPE is springing up from this old ground.

out of chaos, LIFE is being found in you."
-gungor

"The work of God is always slower, deeper, more costly, and more rewarding than anything I would ever choose." -unknown

...and soon after I ran across another quote that I've used before. I didn't realize how strikingly similar they are to each other until now...

"The will of God is never exactly what you expect it to be. It may seem to be much worse, but in the end its going to be a lot better and a lot bigger." -Elisabeth Elliot

LIVING SIMPLY and GIVING EXTRAVAGANTLY.

God is reminding me that I really need to live this way.
Its scary and uncertain and out of my control.
But its good and rich and life-giving. And its what He wants for me.

Its time to take this more seriously than I have been.
Here we go...

He ALWAYS writes the better story...

After a spontaneous and ridiculous 2-day trip to the U.P. (complete with cliff jumping into Lake Superior, climbing Sugarloaf Moutain, and watching fireworks at the Marquette harbor), I am back home. And I currently have time (and a little bit of motivation) to write. Its about time. As always, my thoughts are so scattered, so numerous, and so random and I'm not really sure where to start. So, we'll just make this a big jumble of everything. Enjoy...

God ALWAYS writes the better story.
This seems to be a recurring theme in my simple, 22-year-old life, and it is being emphasized boldly to me again this summer. Everytime I think I can write my own story, it seems like it is off to a good start and then it backfires. And its never as good as I think its going to be.

"And once you live a good story, you get a taste for a kind of meaning in life, and you can't go back to being normal; you can't go back to meaningless scenes stitched together by the forgettable thread of wasted time..." - Donald Miller

But, God's story is meaningful. And beautiful. And eternal. And so much bigger. He can see so much more than we can. He understands how little details and circumstances can be woven together to create an intricate tapestry. So, I come to the point where I must give up control of what I can't control anyway. Why would I want to cling to my own pitiful story when God's is so much better?

"Once you know what it takes to live a better story, you don't have a choice. Not living a better story would be like deciding to die, deciding to walk around numb until you die, and its not natural to want to die..." - Donald Miller

I love this... "The will of God is never exactly what you expect it to be. It may seem to be much worse, but in the end it's going to be a lot better and a lot bigger..." - Elisabeth Elliott

Come alive!
A few weeks ago, a group of about 25 girls gathered to pray for life in our city. We spent Tuesday night until Wednesday morning seeking God's heart on the abortion issue in Grand Rapids. We spent time getting to know each other, in worship, in quiet time, learning from Mary - a sidewalk counselor, and praying. We prayed for the unborn, for girls caught in crisis situations, for the doctor's heart to be captivated by Jesus...and then, in the midst of all this, we realized that God was saying to each of us, "COME ALIVE!" We expected to come and spend ourselves on behalf of the unborn. And that was part of it. But, God also wanted to give himself to us.

"This is what the Sovereign Lord says to these bones: 'I will make breath enter you, and you will come to life..." -Ezekiel 37:5

"Then I passed by and saw you kicking about in your blood, and as you lay there in your blood I said to you, 'LIVE!'" - Ezekiel 16:6

"The glory of God is a human being fully alive; and to be alive consists in beholding God..." - St. Irenaeus

Rebuild.
A few weeks ago, Abby and I were sitting on the window seat at the Omega House praying for life in our city. Abby said, "I'm not sure why, but I think God is saying something about rebuilding a wall. I just read about it in Ezekiel." About two minutes later, we looked out the window in the opposite direction and saw three men working diligently to repair the wall on the side of the Omega House. They were mixing mortar and adding stones to the somewhat dilapidated wall. Okay, God. What are you saying?

The next week, we decided to read Nehemiah out loud as we sat at the Omega House. We still don't fully understand what God means through all of this, but we know it is important. As we read Nehemiah, we stopped several times with our jaws dropped because God seemed to be speaking directly into this little area in downtown Grand Rapids with his Word that is alive!

When Nehemiah was being opposed by several people as he built the wall, he responded (as we also hope to respond to opposition): "The God of Heaven will give us success. We his servants will start rebuilding, but as for you, you have no share in Jerusalem [Grand Rapids] or any claim or historic right ["Heritage" Clinic] to it." [Nehemiah 2:20]

"Don't be afraid of them. Remember the Lord, who is great and awesome, and fight for your brothers, your sons and your daughters, your wives and your homes..." [Nehemiah 4:14]

I don't really know the extent of what this message of REBUILDING means. But God is speaking it to me over and over again...

Summer 2010 To Do List... [or at least a small sampling...]
1. UPBC
2. babysit a lot
3. New York City
4. Colorado
5. Chicago
6. Life Retreat
7. Run
8. Grand Haven
9. Camping
10. Marie Catrib's and Farmers' Market
11. Read
12. Listen to good sermons
13. have a summer party
14. sailing
15. GR chalk flood
16. garage sales
17. learn to make Ethiopian food
18. have a cooking show with Amanda
19. play cornhole
20. write real letters
21. catch up with lots of old friends (Moody, Cornerstone, camp, etc.)
22. paint
23. Sparrows
24. frisbee golf
25. pray at Omega House
26. cliff jumping
27. be spontaneous
28. Pictured Rocks
29. eat ice cream
30. wakeboarding with Kathy
etc...

"To treat life as less than a miracle is to give up on it..." - Wendell Berry

HAPPY SUMMER!

the last few weeks...

...have been filled with A LOT.

i ran my first marathon. 26.2 miles is a really long way to run. there were a lot of great things about it: a flat course along old mission point, a breeze coming off the lake, the frequent water stations, meeting funny people along the course, etc. but, i think the best part was COMMUNITY. several times along the course, we had a cheering crowd of close to 20 people (my family, some of my best camp friends, etc.)

each time i ran past them, i was reminded, "wow. whenever i forget how overwhelmingly blessed i am, REMEMBER THIS." and then, to top it all off, we spent the entire weekend all together relaxing at a condo up north. laying on the beach. talking. doing nothing. being together.

my heart has been consistently and more steadily burdened by abortion that is taking place in my very own city. the passion has been growing inside of me, but i am realizing over and over again that there is NOTHING i can do. so, we simply sit humbly under a weight of such a heavy thing and pray and ask God to move. its again coming to the point when i say, "okay, God. i can't do anything. you have to come through for us!" and He comes through. we have observed transformation and we are begging for more...

side note: i am slightly overwhelmed by money and finances and college loans and figuring out all the details for school next semester. yuck. this is the part of being an adult that i wish i could ignore.

i love summer. i love hot weather. i love wearing skirts and not being cold. i love vibrant colors and sunny skies. i love spontaneously going to the beach.

i am attempting to reflect on the past semester of my life...it was good. but i haven't concocted any deeper thoughts than that yet.

one song that has really gotten to me is completely applicable to this stage of life (and i'm listening to it right now)...

"and when the oceans rage [when finances seem so annoying and i feel restless and my prayers seem unanswered and i can't figure people out...]

i don't have to be afraid

because i know that you love me.

your love never fails." - Jesus Culture

Daily rescued...

I was just watching a TV segment on a family who adopted two little boys from Uganda. At one point, the mom said, "People have said, 'Oh, aren't they lucky? You rescued them from whatever' and I think 'Are you kidding? I am the lucky one. I get to be their mom and I get to be daily rescued from my selfishness and my impatience and things that are just as disease-ridden in my soul. I guess I'm the lucky one."

So true.